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What is your mission?

I struggled a lot in my younger years because people who were supposed to be supportive and encouraging me through my early years in life, were the exact opposite.

Even when I went to school the teachers seemed to practice the same mantra I received at home.

I was the youngest of three girls. I believe first born children are usually admired and given a lot more attention than those that follow behind. My next sister was the genius of the family incredibly intelligent and always spoken of in high esteem to others.

Then along came Me, I was the biggest disappointment in the family. My father was hoping for a boy, not only to carry the family name but another man about the place would’ve been good to talk to and grow up with…teach him Man Stuff.

My Grandmother used to tell me about when I came into the world, she took the phone call about 5.30am in the morning. We lived on a farm that raised milking cows so my father was out fetching the cattle into the yards. She called out to him to tell him the news but once he heard I wasn’t a boy he turned and walked away. my grandmother was trying to tell him I was a ‘special girl’ who would need extra care because I was born with some disabilities.

She said he wasn’t interested that day or any day after that he just wanted to know when the Wife was coming home so she could help him with the farming.

So I was slow.. slow to walk ..slow to learn, I spent a lot of time falling over and getting up again. To the rest of the family I was a ‘ joy’ to my Father, I just wasn’t good enough. I couldn’t really help with the farming because I might fall over and injure myself . I was often given light duties around the house where I would be safer.

All too soon, it was time I went to school with my other two sisters. Once I got to the serious learning stages of life about nine or ten the teachers started on me…You are not as clever as your sisters, pull yourself together, work harder, think smarter- then you might be as good as your sisters.

Who could I turn to?  Mum loved me and showed affection and told me everything would be okay. I was great mates with my oldest sister but the next girl was always pushing me around. We didn’t mix with other families so I thought we were a normal family.

When I entered senior school at the age of 12 I was put in a lower class than the previous school. There were 144 children in our 1st year of senior school as the children came from many different towns and communities. At the half yearly exam for all the subjects I did I came 21/144. Like I said there were many children so the first class was 1A and there were about 40  children, the next was 1B, 1C & 1D with ,  about 35 in each class.

Can you imagine how excited I was to go home and show my parents the results of my work, that I came 21 st out of 144 children.

When I proudly showed my Father he looked through the results, and threw it across the table at me and said “You are not good enough, your sisters came in the top 5 of their year, why can’t you be like them?

So you can imagine where my self confidence went and my ability to manage life’s hurdles. My Mother was wonderful she said I was pretty smart in lots of ways and if I couldn’t get a job when I left school I could help her around the house.

Wind the clock  forward ten years, and my grades didn’t improve so I left school and helped on the farm for awhile then looked for work in town. I hoped for the best to come but those days of being put down followed me through life. People made fun of my appearance and my clumsiness.

So I became a little rebellious, did my own thing and paid the price . I spent some time in an institution and found there were lots of people of my age who had suffered the same put downs in life. After a bit of counselling I sorted myself out and got on  with life. I didn’t visit my family much, but then I was called home because my father was dying. I just wanted to say good-bye but he managed to get out of bed and said come closer I need to tell you something..

He apologised for the way he had treated me all those years I was 40 years old now. He said things could have been different between us I should have spoken to you more nicely than I did and look at you now despite your ‘ chequered past’ you turned out alright in the end. He held out his hand and said I want to shake your hand.

So I went from the child who was a nobody and no good to “‘ someone special in his eyes!  He had never nursed me,  cuddled me,  shook my hand, patted my head,  or said any encouraging words to me ever…

I just turned and walked away.. well actually I ran down to my Mother and big Sister and told them what had happened,they thought I’d made it up! They realised though it was like a confession and he felt it was the correct thing to do. He died about 6 weeks later, so I never saw him again.

So through these experiences I realised I could be there for “Others”.. the lost the broken hearted..the downtrodden..the ones who seen the same wrath that I had in life..

I didn’t have any formal / university training well I’d been to enough psychologist, psychiatrist and lots of other people … I took what I’d learnt and put myself there for Others.

I’ve been a member of the Salvation Army for many years now and it was through that organisation I found people who wanted to be around some one who cared about them who did not put them down ‘ who  raised them up to be the best they could be.

I’m glad I found my purpose in life . I’ve let go of my past. I’ve forgiven those who did wrong and am thankful and grateful for the experiences I had in life because  it has given me the opportunities I have today.

So be an encourager… It is an amazing opportunity to reach down and give someone a hand up in life,